Is Oral Sex a Sin? What the Scriptures Say About Oral Sex For Christians

Oral sex in a Christian marriage is often a source of conflict — but it doesn’t have to be.

In our years as Christian marriage counselors, we spoke to many married couples, young and old, who were conflicted about how their desire for sexual expression fit with their faith. Some couples both desired to pleasure (and be pleasured by) their partners orally, but were concerned that doing so would be a sin in God’s eyes. Even more common was one partner who desired oral play, but another who most certainly did not — usually because because they felt it was an un-Christian act.

The Bible, unfortunately, doesn’t offer specific guidance on oral sex or explicit instruction on what sexual acts are ok within a marriage. We can, however, turn to other scriptural principles and see if they offer any guidance.

1 Corinthians 7 3:5

Let the husband render unto the wife her due: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power over her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power over his own body, but the wife.

Here, we see the principle that a husband and wife are to give themselves physically to one another — that we offer our bodies to one another in marriage for pleasure and enjoyment. That doesn’t mean that we have to do whatever our partner wants, especially if we don’t desire it…but it does reinforce the idea that between a husband and wife, sexual exploration is not only safe and loving, but sanctioned by God.

Song Of Solomon 4:16, 5:1

Ahhh, Song of Solomon. The sexiest Scripture around! And perhaps the best clue that sexuality between married couples is celebrated by God. Here, the lovers continually talk abut the delights of each others’ bodies, and these verses in particular rejoice in the eating, drinking and tasting of one another. It’s a wonderfully poetic, sensuous passage and, in our minds, reflects the poetic, sensuous joy that lovers who are truly connected to one another, body and soul, are meant to enjoy.

Is Oral Sex A Sin?

The short answer: No! Absolutely not. Nope, nope, nope.

It is natural and wonderful to want to share yourself fully and completely with your spouse, and to experience them fully as well. Within a marriage, oral sex is a gift you both give and receive from your soul mate…it is given in selfless love, and should be received with gratitude and tender appreciation.

God is the author of our love, and that includes our sexual expression. If God exists in our embraces, our kisses, our loving words, He also exists in our lovemaking…and He designed all of the parts of our body as being capable of giving and receiving pleasure.

The Real Issue With Oral

Our couples who struggled with oral sex often came to us with faith-based concerns…and it usually turned out that religious issues were merely hiding their real feelings. The two main fears people have are that they don’t know how to pleasure their partner with oral sex; and the fear that their genitals were unclean and/or embarrassing.

If you feel this way, remember: God made ALL of you, including your genitals! And He made them perfect, as perfect as your eyes, your heart, your smile. If cleanliness is the only thing holding you back from enjoying oral sex with your spouse, there’s an easy solution…take a shower! Preferably together.

The most important thing, however, is communication — talk to one another about it, pray together about it. Try it out with your partner, and ask them “Does it feel good when I do this? What about this? What feels best?” Create a safe, loving environment to explore one another with open minds and hearts.